Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
