i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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