Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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