Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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