We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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