I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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