So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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