if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
