Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FUCK WHALES
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
