Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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