Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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