You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize