When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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