I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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