nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize