I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
