I want to have your abortion
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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