Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
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Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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