Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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