I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize