i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
