Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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