He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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