the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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