Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
