I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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