Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
