How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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