I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize