Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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