just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
