We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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