I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
