we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize