im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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