Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Someone came in the potted fern
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
