So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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