I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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