i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize