i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's always time for handjobs
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize