still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
