i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
