She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
