You're completely useless in the revolution.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize