The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This is my gift to your gina
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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