Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
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how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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