Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize