can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
A bitchslap is in order.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
