Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
