sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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