Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
