Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
