Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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