There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
