Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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