I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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