Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
